Proper Treatment 正當作法/ blog/ posts/ Haruki Birnbaum can be more verbose than Murakami 明珠
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2008-10-22 22:09

Actually, not all of Alfred Birnbaum’s translation of Haruki Murakami’s novel Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World is abridged compared to 賴明珠’s Mandarin Chinese translation in Taiwan of the book with the opposite title.

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In some places, the opposite is the case, and I enjoy the English version more. Because the following comparison is a bit long, let me intersperse the two versions.

Stepping out from behind a pillar, we mounted the ladder at the end of the platform, nonchalant and disinterested, as if we did this sort of thing every day.We stepped around the railing. Several people looked our way, visibly alarmed. We were covered with mud, clothes drenched, hair matted, eyes squinting at the ordinary light—I guess we didn’t look like subway employees. Who the hell were we?

我們從柱子後面出來快步走到月台前面的盡頭,然後裝成這種事情每天做慣了沒什麼意思的樣子步上鐵梯,越過柵欄。有幾個乘客往我們的方向看,滿臉不可思議。到底這些傢伙在做什麼,他們好像很訝異的樣子。我們怎麼看都不像是地下鐵的關係者。不過到底什麼地方有誰會喜歡在地下鐵的軌道上散步呢?

Before they’d reached any conclusions, we’d sauntered past and were already at the wicket. That’s when it occurred to me, we didn’t have tickets.

他們在到達他們的結論之前,我們快速穿過月台走到收票口。然後走到收票口前面時才發現沒帶票的事。

「沒有票。」我說。

“We’ll say we lost them and pay the fare,” she said.

「當作遺失了付錢不就行了嗎?」她說。

So that’s what I told the young attendant at the gate.

我向收票口的年輕站員說票遺失了。

“Did you look carefully?” he asked. “You have lots of pockets. Could you please check again?”

「有沒有好好找?」站員說。「口袋有好幾個啊,再找一次看看好嗎?」

We stood there dripping and filthy and searched our clothes for tickets that had never been there, while the attendant eyed us incredulously.

我們在收票口裝成尋找衣服的每個口袋。在那時間裏站員以懷疑的眼神骨碌碌地盯著我們的樣子。

No, it seemed we’d really lost them, I said.

還是沒有,我說。

“Where did you get on?”

「從哪裏上車的?」

“Shibuya.”

澁谷,我說。

“How much did you pay?”

「付了多少錢,從澁谷到這裏?」

“A hundred twenty, hundred forty yen, something like that.”

忘了,我說。「我想大概是一百二十圓或一百四十圓左右吧?」

“You don’t remember?”

「不記得嗎?」

“I was thinking about other things.”

「因為正在想事情。」我說。

“Honestly, you got on at Shibuya?”

「真的是從澁谷上車嗎?」

“The line starts from Shibuya, doesn’t it? How could we cheat on the fare?”

「這個月台不是從澁谷起站的嗎?不可能亂講啊。」我抗議。

“You could have come through the underpass from the opposite platform. The Ginza Line’s pretty long. For all I know, you could have caught the Tozai Line all the way from Tsudanuma and transferred at Nihonbashi.”

「也可能是從那邊月台到這邊來呀。銀座線相當長的。而且比方從津田沼搭東西線到日本橋,在那兒轉車到這裏也行啊。」

“Tsudanuma?”

「津田沼?」

“Strictly hypothetical,” said the station attendant.

「我打個比方啊。」站員說。

“So how much is it from Tsudanuma? I’ll pay that. Will that make you happy?”

那麼從津田沼到這裏要多少錢?我付好了。這樣可以吧?」

“Did you come from Tsudanuma?”

「是從津田沼來的嗎?」

“No,” I said. “Never been to Tsudanuma in my life.”

「不。」我說。「從來沒到過什麼津田沼。」

“Then why pay the fare?”

「那你為什麼要付?」

“I’m just doing what you said.”

「你不是這樣說嗎?」

“I said that was strictly hypothetical.”

「所以我不是告訴你那只是個比方嗎?」

By now, the next train had arrived. Twelve passengers got off and passed through the wicket. We watched them. Not one of them had lost a ticket. Whereupon we resumed negotiations with the attendant.

“Okay, tell me from where do I have to pay?” I said.

“From where you got on,” he insisted.

“Shibuya, like I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“But you don’t remember the fare.”

“Who remembers fares? Do you remember how much coffee costs at McDonald’s?”

“I don’t drink McDonald’s coffee,” said the station attendant. “It’s a waste of money.”

“Purely hypothetical,” I said. “But you forget details like that.”

“That may be, but people who say they’ve lost tickets always plead cheaper fares. They all come over to this platform and say they got on in Shibuya.”

“I already said I’d pay whatever fare you want, didn’t I? Just tell me how much.”

“How should I know?”

I threw down a thousand-yen bill and we marched out. The attendant yelled at us, but we pretended not to hear.

沒完沒了的爭論繼續下去太麻煩了,於是我放了一張一千圓鈔票就自顧自地走出外面。雖然聽見後面站員呼喊的聲音,但我們裝成沒聽見地繼續走。

The use of 什麼 in the retort 從來沒到過什麼津田沼 is inspired indeed, but 關係者 and 到達他們的結論 are not part of Mandarin the last time I checked. Moreover, the part about McDonald’s coffee is a even more brilliant retort—completely missing in the Mandarin—and what is a Murakami novel without counting how many passengers got off the next train?

Then again, I would call the wickets turnstiles in English even though I know they don’t turn. It’s true, 沒完沒了的爭論繼續下去太麻煩了. I’m like the blind man’s two arms arguing with each other about the elephant.

My interpretation of this book’s ending is that the tide turns and everyone lives happily ever after like they always do in Hollywood. The separation represents that the two ‘I’s only brush past each other, like the trains in Café Lumière. Does anyone agree?