There are two kinds of people, those whose utterances have truth conditions and those whose utterances are jokes. (Thanks to David Beaver.)

I was on the NJ Transit train from New York to SALT at Rutgers. A lady and a guy got on at the airport.

• Conductor to guy, punching his ticket:
  This train doesn’t go to Foo. Get off at the next stop and change to a North Jersey Coast train.
• Guy to conductor:
  Oh! They told me to go to Track 5. So this train doesn’t go to Foo?
• Conductor to guy:
  No, change at Rahway, the next stop.
• Guy to conductor:
  Ok. Thanks.
• Guy to lady:
  Excuse me, do you know how I can find out which train goes to Foo?
• Lady to guy:
  Sorry, I don’t know. I’m a visitor myself.
• Me to guy:
  Where are you going? Which train are you trying to take?
• Guy to me:
  I thought this train went to Foo. They told me to go to Track 5.
• Me to guy:
  Oh, you have a North Jersey Coast line schedule in your hand. Let’s see. Which train are you trying to take?
• Guy to me:
  I want to go to Foo. (points index finger all over schedule) How I can find out which train goes to Foo?
• Me to guy:
  You need to read the schedule. Let’s see… (realizes he needs to get off at the next stop) Sorry, there’s no time for me to tell you how to read the schedule. But in short, you need to read the schedule. That’s how you find out which train goes to Foo. By reading the schedule.
• Guy to me:
  Ok, thanks. The guy at the airport just told me to go to Track 5. I thought this train goes to Foo.
• Me to guy:
  Every train to Foo is on Track 5. That doesn’t mean that every train on Track 5 goes to Foo.
• Guy to me:
  Oh, but the guy told me to go to Track 5. Thanks.
• Guy gets ready to exit the train and ponders schedule for a few seconds.
• Guy to me:
  So I should look for trains marked with Q?
• Me to guy:
  Q? What Q?
• Guy to me:
  Here on the schedule it says: “Trains marked with Q”
• Me to guy:
  Let me look. Oh. (enters office-hour mode subconsciously) Please read that sentence.
• Guy to me:
  “Trains marked with Q”
• Me to guy:
  Ok, keep reading, the sentence hasn’t ended yet.
• Guy to me:
  “Trains marked with Q are part of NJ Transit”
• Me to guy:
  But the sentence hasn’t ended yet. Keep reading. Please finish.
• Guy to me:
  “Trains marked with Q are part of NJ Transit’s Quiet Commute program.”
• Me to guy:
  Right. That’s the whole sentence.
• Guy to me:
  I thought my train is part of the Quiet Commute program.
• Me to guy:
  (flabbergasted) … Why do you think that?
• Lady to me:
  Excuse me, why don’t you just help the poor guy. He’s just trying to get somewhere. You’re trying to get him to read but it would be so much more helpful if you tell him which train to take, how to get to his destination. You’re not being helpful.
• Guy to lady and me:
  I don’t know what’s going on. I just came from Canada.
• Lady to me:
  Yeah, instead of being unhelpful, why don’t you answer his question.
• Me to lady:
  What was his initial question to me?
• Lady to me:
  He asked how to get to Foo.
• Me to lady:
  That was not his question.
• Guy to lady and me:
  Sorry to bother you; thank you very much; bye.
• Lady and me to guy:
  Bye.
• Guy exits.
• Me to lady:
  I’d love to talk about this over tea.
• Lady to me:
  I just don’t think it’s helpful to teach him to read the schedule when he’s just trying to get some place. Why don’t you tell him what to do.
• Me to lady:
  I’d love to talk about this, but it may take a while. I’m getting off at New Brunswick. Do you want to talk for a few minutes?
• Lady to me:
  (grin dismissal) No.
• Me to lady:
  Don’t start conversations that you don’t intend to continue.
• Lady:
  Tch.

We actually did stop talking from then on.

(ps. I wasn’t trying to hit on the lady.)